Dispatches from Suburbia

If I played an instrument, I would have a band called "The Simon Thomsen Sex Tape"; and other musings, rants, and disconnected ramblings.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Coffee Detox

"Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."
-David Letterman

For the first time in almost ten years, I've cut down on my coffee intake. I'd been drinking coffee, black, since the sixth grade and I'd steadily increased my intake until college began, when the amount of coffee I was drinking reached a sharp incline. Then, a little over a year ago, I started my job as a cook at a coffee shop, where I began drinking so much that I was shaking like a chihuahua by 7 a.m., and the shaking would continue until about 8:00 p.m., when I would start to "come down" (a term familiar to cocaine users) and, finally, fall asleep until the next morning's caffeine binge. I even named my dachsund "Coffee." I think my family almost called an intervention. If I were to graph my coffee intake over the years, it would look like the figure below.

Oddly enough, the decrease in my coffee intake was a direct result of my receiving a new programmable coffee maker. The problem before this coffee maker was that I didn't have time to make myself some coffee at 4:30 a.m., before I would head to work. When I would get to work, regular coffee wasn't made until close to 6 a.m. Unfortunately, at that time, I am a vegetable until I get caffeine coursing through my veins. Luckily, the espresso machine at work is ready for immediate use. It's too easy to use, and one of the cashiers was irresponsible enough to show me how it works. So, for a while there I was starting my mornings with anywhere between 4-12 shots of espresso, followed by a cup of coffee and, when the sun would come up, a glass of iced tea.

This new coffee maker will begin it's brew cycle for the time I set it. I awake at 4:30 in the morning, so I've programmed the coffee maker to start brewing at 4:15. The sound of the grinder is sort of my snooze alarm. By the time I get to work, I've had a much more subtle 3-4 cups of coffee rather than my pint of espresso. Unfortunately, that doesn't change that my excessive coffee drinking throughout middle school is what probably stunted my growth.


At 10:37 PM, Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Just say yes to coffee! Good rollback strategy. Funny, I usually drink regular leaded coffee from about 6 a.m. until 10 p.m. (unless drinking booze earlier than 10; the one tends to end if the other begins). During the holidays, I've been staying up until 4:30 a.m. and lovin' it -- until Monday. Espresso has been an extra joy since Christmas; back to the usual come Sunday. . . . . Cheers! More snow yet?

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Danny Tagalog said...

Four cups before 6:00 a.m! I'd be bouncing off the walls. I know you need it for work, but ...phew!

At 9:55 AM, Blogger Laura said...

I actually didn't even drink coffee until I started working at the job I'm at now. Before that it was mostly pop and tea. For some reason, I just got used to the coffee at my work. Now I even order coffee when I go out to eat. That stuff can get really addicting.


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