Dispatches from Suburbia

If I played an instrument, I would have a band called "The Simon Thomsen Sex Tape"; and other musings, rants, and disconnected ramblings.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Strongarmed into a Good Deed

"Deeds are fruits, words are leaves."
-English Proverb

We generate an alarming amount of garbage during the holidays. Far more than can be done away with during the weekly trash pickup.

I borrowed my grandfather's pickup and made a run to the dump today. Since we received a new dining room table for Christmas, I'd decided to throw away the old one that happened to be falling apart anyhow. I'd already tried to give it away, but even my little brother, who's supposedly moving out of my parents' house next month, refused the table.

Unfortunately, two of my neighbors (the middle-aged man two doors down and the elderly woman from across the way) spotted me loading the ratty table into the truck. She happens to volunteer for Habit for Humanity, and she decided that my table would be a wonderful donation, despite the fact that it has been sitting in the elements for about a month now. The man also decided that making the table a donation would be a spectacular idea, so much so that he helped me unload it from the back of the truck. "Habitat for Humanity will even come pick it up!" he explained.

Great. Fine. Whatever. Well, Habitat is not open until Wednesday. That doesn't work for me--I need my backyard, plus I'm having company over tonight, and our pile of garbage and old furniture is rather embarrassing, hence my decision to make a dump run today.

But I also did not want to come across as a dickhead. Yes, somebody could certainly use the table. Plus, I did not want my neighbors to see me reload the table into the truck.

I left the table sitting in front of the apartments as I made the trip to the dump, hoping that somebody might steal it. I guess that could kind of be considered a "donation." Anyway, when I returned, the table was still sitting there, alone and pathetic, like a small child whose parent forgot to pick them up from school.

Well, Habitat for Humanity may not be open today, but Goodwill is. I got rid of the damned table. Next time I see my neighbors, I won't be lying when I tell them that I donated it.


At 2:04 PM, Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Very funny vignette -- thinking about the dueling charities cracks me up . . . . . As for Christmas trees, I have a wee'un that takes up little space, unlike a family one my father picked out many years ago from a forest lot that required a chainsaw to shape into place.

Recovered space is also wondrous, for sure.

At 9:13 PM, Blogger Dorky Dad said...

Hey ... you don't happen to have a child's play table you're getting rid of, do you? I'm in the market ...

I donate all my crap to Goodwill. It's closer than the dump.


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