Dispatches from Suburbia

If I played an instrument, I would have a band called "The Simon Thomsen Sex Tape"; and other musings, rants, and disconnected ramblings.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

A Trip With Paris

Quote of the Day: "I'm coming over to lay some tracks."
-Paris, the mystery man

Yesterday, Kim received a call on her cell phone from some guy named Paris. "Tell Simon I'm on my way over. I'll be there in half an hour."

So Kim called me at the house and told me Paris would be there in about half an hour, and I asked, "Who is Paris?"

"I don't know," she said, "but he's on his way."

She gave me the number from her caller ID and I called Paris.

"Hey Simon, what's up Bro?" he asked. "I'm on my way, dawg."

"Do I know you?" I asked.

"Yeah, bro," he said, and he sounded offended. "I'm coming over to lay some tracks, remember?"

I figured this was urban slang for recording music. Plus, I don't have any railroads nearby.

"Um, I don't have and equipment to...lay tracks?" I said, raising my voice at the end as if answering a question.

"This is Simon, right?" he said.


"Kyle's cousin?"

I do have a cousin named Kyle, so I said, "Well, yeah."

"Yeah bro, Kyle. The one with 'Katie' tatted his arm," he said. Wrong Kyle.

"Sorry, but that's not my cousin Kyle," I said. There was a moment of silence.

"Do you live on Seven Bar Loop?" he asked.


"Whoa," he said, with the same kind of stunned laughter that comes after a mind-blowing bong rip. "That's a trip, bro."

"Um, that is a trip," I said. And that concluded our conversation. It was a trip.


At 5:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 6:38 AM, Blogger Erik Donald France said...

France sends note to say: hilariously weird.

At 7:45 AM, Blogger ShadowFalcon said...

How wierd - where did he get your number?

prehaps he is stalking you!


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