Dispatches from Suburbia

If I played an instrument, I would have a band called "The Simon Thomsen Sex Tape"; and other musings, rants, and disconnected ramblings.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

A Cream-Filled Eclair

Quote of the Day: "FIRST RULE: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college."
-Kurt Vonnegut, "A Lesson in Writing"

Today at work, we discovered that the bakery had sent us a very phallic eclair. It was more than likely a mistake, but the thing really did resemble a dick and balls. It wasn't just us kitchen staff with our minds always in the gutter--our counter staff and management refused to even put the pornographic pastry in the display case. As far as I know, it's still sitting in the back room, never to be sold to an unwitting customer.

Simon' s Current Obsessions:

Basil mojitos
Much crisper than the mint variety, making it an even better summer beverage. Yes, I often indulge in "girl drinks." And I watch America's Next Model. Speaking of...

Natasha from America's Next Top Model
She's adorable. She does grate on the nerves like the rest of them, but I'll be damned if she's not the most impressive model on the show.


At 6:25 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

You always seem to use my favorite quotes. I am a sucker for K. Vonnegut.

At 6:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The other morning I was driving to work and hanging from the license plate on a "manly" pick up was a fake set of balls. Pretty disgusting.


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