Dispatches from Suburbia

If I played an instrument, I would have a band called "The Simon Thomsen Sex Tape"; and other musings, rants, and disconnected ramblings.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Rooftop Shenanigans

Quote of the Day: "Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man."
Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver

When I was in high school, my friends and I used to sneak up to the roof of the Sheraton. For whatever reason, the roof access at the hotel was never locked. They'd always leave the padlock, open and hanging from the access door, almost as an invitation.

So we'd go to the roof and look off of the side, maybe watch our spit drop to the bottom. Once, my friend Chris, whose car was a moving trash bin, had a roll of toilet paper in the backseat. We brought it with us to the rooftop and tossed off the building and into the night. The toilet paper unraveled and seemed to stop, caught midair, a white streamer floating in the dark. It caught in the trees, and we shrugged and left.

Later, Chris had a bachelor party at the same hotel. His buddy Taka decided to bring a blowup doll, which he'd left in the car. Taka and I went downstairs to bring the doll to the room. When we got to the parking lot and to his car, I found that the doll was already blown up, its mouth formed into a permanent "O."

We carried the woman to the elevator and stood her up next to us. She was our vinyl escort.

An elderly couple joined us on the elevator, and they stayed very quiet. It was an awkward moment, one that screamed for explanation. Taka turned to the couple and said, "Bachelor party." The couple responded with a "Hmm," and they smiled apprehensively. The elevator dinged and we exited, red-faced and struggling to keep from laughing.


At 11:31 PM, Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

Girls just wanna have fun. While old people just wanna have a quiet dinner.

At 6:56 AM, Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

Our school did an educational survey.

Q: What improvement would you like to see in the academic program?

A: Blow-up dolls.


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