Pranks, Jokes, and Creative Writing

Quote of the Day: "Have you heard about the pygmy prostitute? A li'l fucker 'bout yea high."

-my grandfather

My grandfather is the most phenomenal joke-teller. Sitting in his little workshop, among the smell of freshly cut wood and cigarettes, he like to tell his grandchildren, no matter what age (anywhere between 1 and 40) his sometimes innocent, sometimes shockingly filthy jokes.

This question came up recently in my creative writing class: What made you want to write fiction? My answer: A love for joke telling inherited from my grandfather. Many of his jokes are long, detailed story jokes that only work if told right. If they are filthy, innocent, or otherwise, they won't get so much as a chuckle if not executed with the utmost care.

Writing fiction is similar. Your job is to tell a story delicately and uniquely for the desired effect. It takes lots of practice and thought, but the result is incredibly rewarding.

Pranks are the same way. When I was much younger, my cousins sent me on a snipe hunt. After a long while spent banging shovels on the ground and carrying a trash bag, trying to coax the snipes into my possession, I learned that they weren't real. I was pissed.

That didn't stop me from sending my brother on a snipe hunt the following year. The biggest reward is convincing your audience of something that isn't real.

Here's a short joke for today:

This guy is sitting in his living room, watching T.V. There's a knock at the door.

He answers the door to find a snail on the porch. Disgusted, he picks up the snail. "Get the hell outta here!" he says. Then he tosses the snail away and slams the door shut.

One year later, the same guy is sitting in his living room and watching the T.V. There's a knock a the door.

The guy answers the door to find the same snail sitting on his porch. The snail says, "What the fuck was that for?"