Dispatches from Suburbia

If I played an instrument, I would have a band called "The Simon Thomsen Sex Tape"; and other musings, rants, and disconnected ramblings.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Passion of the Carters

"Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be."

-Kurt Vonnegut

The other day, I watched the horrid reality tv show House of Carters. I'm known for my addiction to garbage T.V.: There's E! True Hollywood Story that I can never seem to turn off (even if the subject is Anna Nicole), or there's Flavor of Love
, a show that presents to us such strange individuals that it's almost like a weird dream/nightmare. Occasionally, I'll even catch an episode of The Girls Next Door to remind myself that no, Hef is not living every guy's dream (in fact, a houseful of those ditzes looks more like a living hell); and sometimes, not always, but sometimes, I'll catch myself watching, eh, I hate to say it...Passions.

But, that dump of a show House of Carters came on the other day, and I could watch no more than ten minutes. First of all, reality shows, whether they're scripted or not, shouldn't sound so scripted. Secondly, I prefer fictional television about whiny folks (Seinfeld, Grey's Anatomy, Ally McBeal, etc.) rather than supposed real people are this incredibly blah. They outdo even Meredith Grey. Does the Carter family really have it all that bad? If this is supposed to be reality, then this world needs nothing less than a nuclear holocaust.

Though I admit to watching this junk, I won't say that reality T.V. is a good use of my time. Like coffee, cigarettes, or booze, this is an addiction. I'm a junkie. If I sit down to watch the telly and come across an America's Next Top Model marathon, don't expect to hear from me until Tyra chooses a winner. I tend to put Flava Flav, the Hef's Playmate's, and Anna Nicole's tortuous life story over homework, friends, and family, who have, surprisingly enough, not yet staged an intervention. My name is Simon, and I'm a reality T.V.-holic.

13 Comments:

At 1:28 PM, Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

The inmates under my supervision ask me if I've seen the latest episode of Flava Flav, and I have to remind them that I do not have cable. Since you're a t.v.-holic, you need a sponsor, someone that can help you recover from your vice.

 
At 1:53 PM, Blogger Sheila said...

I like the quote you put up. It is very true!

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Some of the girls at work watch Flavor of Love and they think it's great. They told me I just had to see it. So, I watched the program. I don't get why they think this show is so fantastic. Perhaps you can enlighten me. I do however love to watch American Idol and I especially love to hear Simon's remarks.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Bird on a Wire said...

I like the American Idol tryouts. It's good for a laugh. I don't watch the actual show as often as others, though. As for the appeal of Flavor of Love, your guess is as good as mine. Oh yeah, thumbprints, inmates have cable?

 
At 4:53 PM, Blogger melanie said...

ooooooooo junk TV! wish i had more time to enjoy it! The only show i got addicted to was Project Runway!

yea. love it. I pretty much stick to bravo when i watch TV... or the IFC, or Sundance.

call me eclecitc. see if i care.

 
At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Grey's Anatomy.

I can't say the same for the majority of the reality TV shows out there these days.

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger Bird on a Wire said...

I really wish I had IFC and Sundance. Much more profound than Flava's antics.

 
At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step.

I personally love the American Idol tryouts.

 
At 6:07 PM, Blogger Dr. A said...

Thanks for visiting my blog, thought I would do the same.

I'm with you on the guilty little pleasures thing with TV. E! THS I cannot stop watching, even if it's reruns. And, on VH1, I Love the 80s - Cannot get enough of that.

Great blog. I'm going to add you to my links.

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

I should probably post this anonymously...

Every week, I think about posting a comment to the Top Model message board. I know it's only a matter of time.

 
At 8:17 PM, Blogger Michelle's Spell said...

Love the quote! I'm addicted to Breaking Bonaduce!

 
At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can handle Biggest Loser, but that's about it ;-)

 
At 1:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

America's next top model is horrific precisley becasue its sooooo addictive. At the moment nothing could drag me away from Hells kitchen... I've just got to see more

 

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