Dispatches from Suburbia

If I played an instrument, I would have a band called "The Simon Thomsen Sex Tape"; and other musings, rants, and disconnected ramblings.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Frightening car rides

"The camera is ruthless and cruel. It reads the mind of the person in front of it."
-Gregory Nava

This weekend I went to the NM Filmmaker's Conference, which was, from my perspective, a total success. Everything was practical and worthwhile, and I now a firmer grasp on the film industry.

Anyway, here's a scene I wrote last semester. The characters are my brother and I. In fact, this is a real incident, but in screenplay format.


Simon drives and Robbie sits in th passenger seat. Music plays lightly, and the two brothers casually chat.

Simon is twenty and Robbie is seventeen. Robbie is looking out the window when Simon gets his attention.

Hey! I think I know that girl.

(peering out of Simon's window)

In the silver car.

We see a girl driving a silver car. She's chewing gum and minding her own business.

Both boys are looking at her.

So do you know her?

I don't know. She's kinda hot, though.

They continue to watch her. Robbie turns and looks out the windshield. We see a stoplight change form green to yellow.

Simon continues to stare at the girl.

(high pitched scream)
It's yellow!

Simon slams on the brakes. The car screeches to a stop with plenty of space to spare ahead of hit. Obviously, there was no real need for panic.


The skid marks is at least eight feet long, and reveals that the car as slid from the middle lane to the right. The light turns from yellow to red.


The boys look frazzled. Robbie leans forward to once again look at the girl.

We see that she is staring directly at them, shocked.

Don't look at her. Don't get her attention.

Robbie leans back.

Damn. I smell burning rubber.
So do you know her?


The light turns green and they drive away.


At 7:52 PM, Blogger Dorky Dad said...

Wow. That is absolutely, positively hilarious, probably because I've done the same thing myself, only not with someone else in the car. Thank God.

At 8:12 AM, Blogger Shionge said...

Oh Wow! No worries I bet :D

At 11:51 AM, Blogger Erik Donald France said...

This cracked me up. Would love to see it on film!

At 3:20 PM, Blogger Stewart Sternberg said...

This was nice. I think it would have been interesting to have the boys driving on a little more without any further acknowledgement of what has transpired.

At 11:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was wondering what happened to my tires-Mom


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