Dispatches from Suburbia

If I played an instrument, I would have a band called "The Simon Thomsen Sex Tape"; and other musings, rants, and disconnected ramblings.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Karma Police

"This is what you get when you mess with us."
-Radiohead, "Karma Police"

When I was in high school, only the seniors were allowed off campus for our lunch period, but that didn't stop the juniors from trying.

At school they had a faculty member (a "narc" we used to call them) guard the front entrance and check student ID's just so he'd know that anyone leaving was a senior.

We tried one day during our junior year, a whole carload of us, to make our way off campus. We didn't think the "narc" would be there--we thought we might just luck out.

Well, we were wrong. But when he tried to stop us, Josh stepped on the gas in a panic and we made it off of campus in a rush. Getting back on was the problem. Of course, as we expected, the guard was waiting for Josh's blue Taurus. He had us pull to the side and he came to the window.

He poked his head in to see the five of us. "I need your ID's," he said, and collected them. Then he asked for mine.

"I don't have it," I lied.

He sighed. "What's your name?"

"Thomas Jameson," I lied again. Now he had four valid ID's and a false name. The end result? The others got three days of detention, while I got away clean.

Later that year, being the deviant teenage rebel that I was, I stupidly smoked pot in the middle of a park in broad daylight with the same group of friends. Of course, somebody called the police.

So they arrived, and once again we were told to give our names.

"Thomas Jameson," I said.

This time, I ended up in cuffs in the back seat of a police car, while my friends were allowed to sit in the grass while we waited for our parents. The look on my mother's face was pure fury, while my own face, I've been told, carried a look of fear and humiliation.


At 2:32 PM, Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Things were much much looser in the 1970s. Dozens of kids of all grades would drift off into the woods and smoke pot. Nobody did anything. Some of them are lawyers and business people now, and unlike Bill Clinton, there's no doubt they inhaled ;)

At 9:11 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

My Ex used to tell cops that his name was Kevin Lewis. I used to dread the collect phone calls from "Kevin."

At 11:54 PM, Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

Oh, Thomas, Thomas, what are we to do with you?

At 1:09 AM, Blogger ShadowFalcon said...

I hope the real Thomas Jameson doesn't catch up with you :-)

- why does it sound like you went to school in a prison?

At 2:42 AM, Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

Some of my students have aliases. I sometimes learn their real names when it's time to fill out the GED paperwork.


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